literature

The Custodian (Heavily Revised)

Deviation Actions

Bohax's avatar
By
Published:
327 Views

Literature Text

He waited watching
Over the world
Tears in his eyes
His wings unfurled
The fire below
The smoke in the sky
What would it come to?
How many would die?

The soldiers marched on
Day by day
No trees left to fell
No food left to prey

Given a job
He was to perceive
The hatred of men
Corruption and greed
After the war
He would scour the earth
No remnants left
A total rebirth

Their armies clashed
With metal and wood
Leaving nothing behind
They took what they could
Would future ones learn
From mistakes of the past?
Or would they continue
Till the death of the last?
He did not want this
He did not agree
But this was the payment
This was the fee

Their battle cries rose
They pillaged and raped
The land and its fruit
And all in their way

He could not watch this
He could not condone
The slaughter of brother
The murder of crone
So he turned his face
His vision had blurred
Yet louder they grew
And anguish he heard

At home their wives mourned
Their houses grew cold
They died in battle while
Their children grew old

As the dust settled
The fires burned out
A tear fell from heaven
Onto tortured ground
For all was over
The deed had been done
But nothing had lasted
No-one had won

The men had murdered
And hackled and shed
Nothing was left
The very earth bled

The angel descended
With sorrow and gloom
He had tried to warn them
To save them from doom
But they had not listened
They had not heard him
For what fool would heed
The Call of The Custodian.
This was one of my first poems and I think a fix up has been long over due. It is about an angel who, despite the fact that he loves and admires the human race, is forced to watch as they destroy each other in the most petty, ruthless, greedy fashion. He is forced to watch the final war which leaves nothing behind, and he is unable to do anything about it. Furthermore, his job is to be the 'ferryman' and to clean up the mess left behind by his beloved race.

This poem, now that I think about it, is almost antithetical to my poem 'Lament of the Fallen', which is about the decent into darkness, of the angel Lucifer, because of his greed and ambition.

There are still a few lines that need tweaking but I am quite proud of it as a whole. Please comment; I always appreciate criticism (as long as it is constructive of course)
Comments2
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Kubuini's avatar
It flows nicely and it rouses feeling of pity, and makes one wonder about how senseless wars are. Well done